its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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