Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
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