Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize