ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
Randomize