singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
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