me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
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