when i woke up i was missing $380 from my bank account
damn...impressive bar tab
no i guess i bought a gasoline powered blender off ebay, i need a breathalyzer for my computer
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
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