I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
Randomize
