Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
Randomize
