finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
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