Welp...herpes.
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
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