I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
I love you.
Bad choice
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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