her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
Randomize