My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
Randomize