Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
Hello my rib-scented angel!
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize