It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
honey bunches of taint.
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
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