Christians are straight up FREAKS
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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