Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
