i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
These 25 Drunks Should’ve Gotten Cut Off A Long Time Ago
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
27 Freshmen Who Really Didn’t Know What They Were Getting In To
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober