dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
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i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
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Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.