Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
were you high?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex