? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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