Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms