we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
barbara walters just said penis...
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
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Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
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That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.