i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
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