So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Randomize