oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
goodnight i made you a song goodbye
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
Randomize
