He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.