I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
25 Facts Men Don’t Know About Women Until They Live Together
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
These 19 People Imagine Others When Banging Their SO
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.