is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.