Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
25 Men Confess The Moment They Knew They Wanted To Marry Their Wife
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
You Wouldn’t Guess That These 25 Celebrities Are Complete A**holes
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey