all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype