BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
ALERT: Turns out when I'm drunk I turn into a clepto. I just found keys, a ketchup bottle, and sweatshirt in my backpack that don't belong to me. If yours, come collect from me. I'm still drunk in the back of biology lecture.
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way