You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
29 People Confess The Worst Example Of Dirty Talk They’ve Ever Heard
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
21 Women Compare Anal and Vaginal Sex
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.