he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
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I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
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He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.