Whod you bang
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
Just 30 Funny Tumblr Posts About Starbucks
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
18 People Are Kind Of A**holes But Also Completely Hilarious
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice