I'll bet she douches with gravy.
Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration