I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
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that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
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Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
Also, beer. Big fan.
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.