I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.