I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.