yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.