Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
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