Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
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