I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Randomize