I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
19 Of The Creepiest (Most Inexplicable) Things People Experienced
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent