Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
I think your dad took our porno
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
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