It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
23 Theme Park Employees Confess The Biggest Adult Tantrums They’ve Witnessed
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents