I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
Randomize