I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
27 Common Occurrences Everyone Can Relate To But No One Talks About
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
21 People Intentionally Did Despicable Things During Sex
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.