my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
His hands were made for my vagina.
21 Horribly Evil Pranks To Play On Your Drunk Friends
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
29 Times Beach Sex Ended With Sand In All The Wrong Places
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.