I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
Randomize