I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
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I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
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