i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
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