Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
Also, beer. Big fan.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
Randomize