i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
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