In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.