life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
Contemplating These 27 Questions Will Make Your Brain Explode
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
25 People Confess The Most Shocking Things They’ve Ever Seen In Public
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.