Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
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