New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
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