WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
I touched a dick in church today
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
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