If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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