Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize