his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
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