Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
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