You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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