One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
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I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
foreskin is a definite game changer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
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