i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
Randomize
